Sensitive & Feely

The body… the emotional body. We cannot slide out of it. It’s part of all THIS experience.

So often, probably more often than I’d like, I get a rush of emotions, energy, currents that take over all my senses. It’s the shmoorgasboard of connectedness, loneliness, joy, sadness, peace, uncertainty, love, nothingness, appreciation, hurt, desire, exhaustion, and …. breathe… It’s true. When I get tethered by these energies I can feel all that is around me… people walking, people in their cars, the trees, sky, the hawk flying just across my path. I ask what is all THIS. I settle in and let it flow.

Yes… it’s always tears that invite themselves in. Tears of being alive!

I’ve accepted I am a sensitive emotional creature. I feel everything.
All those that have echoed ‘you’re too sensitive… you’re too intense… you’re too emotional.. you’re expecting too much…your standards are too high’.

…You, my dear ones, don’t get to have this part of me. It will not be wasted. It is all these “too [fill in the blank]” that have held me in connection, compassion, safety, discernment, empathy, self-love, integrity, intuition, honor, Love, and truth.

“No one rises to low expectations.”

I’m not a girl you cut out of a magazine. I’m a girl who is mostly love and light and a little bit ‘go f%ck yourself’. I’ve experienced the highs and lows. This soul has been everywhere.

So with all the dismissal, betrayal, deception, lack of integrity, and down right gross behaviors I’ve been mixed in, from male and female alike, one thing is for sure. I will never let this diminish or change the sensitive soul I am.
Nor should you.

I will show up with all of me in my next upgraded relationship.. friendship or romance. I promise you, you will get all I have to give.

If we are holding back in the ‘next’ it is only because we are gripping to the past. What WAS. The emotional body can grip.

If I’m running on a trail and come across a beautiful stump with flowers growing out of it, I admire it and then run along. I do not pick up the stump, tether it to me, and continue running down the trail. Sounds ridiculous, right!?

But we do this! We do this with our past beliefs, pains, heartaches, you name it. Why we choose to drag along the tough stuff, the hurt emotions, the betrayals, the stories, etc, into the next, is only thwarting what could truly be ~ THIS. The tether only reaffirms our addictions to old belief patterns. It’s a way of arguing for our limitations and rationalizing our suffering.

In all my ‘too muchness’, I will show up. I will deliver my truth. I will give you space. I will forgive. I will listen. I will give you a kick in the butt when needed. I will love you with ALL your stuff… yes, your flaws. I will give grace. Yes, a lot of it!! I am actually balancing out this area for myself and creating better self-loving boundaries. But that is for another writing.
I digress…

All I ask for (expect!) is reciprocity.

I will need the truth. I will need space. I will need forgiveness. I will need to vent. I will trust you’ll kick me in the butt when needed while still holding my hand. 👈🏻 Note; ‘holding my hand’ key words😊. I need to be loved for ALL of me… yes, MY flaws!

Can I be alone on an island in this share? I think not!

No one is exempt… we all need this. We all have flaws. We all need a hand to hold.
Can we honor each other’s needs and emotions? Can we be present with each other? Can we listen, deeply… without destruction of the devising mind prepping the defense and push-back response? Can we be present in the current experience without dredging up past events, withholding transparency or casting blame?… because all we ever have is THIS.

THIS requires knowing your wounds, your triggers, and your needs so well that you don’t let them slip by your consciousness. Only here is the place you can meet another. Here there is no blame, no projection, no defense, no withdrawal… only Love. THIS is ownership. It’s where the authentic waters flow. The raw stream that trickles over the stones and smooths out the edges, gently.

There is beauty in the breakdown… where your wounds meet mine… they recognize each other and join hands. Compassion for the emotional body.

Unconditional Love.
There is only THIS.

It’s time. Floating on the surface of life is not enough. At least it’s not for me.

Big Love 🖤

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