Who Am I? Who Are You?
Regardless of experience, aren’t we all truly one?
I open my heart and voice to you with a desire to connect and realize there is no separation between us.
Here is the start of my undetermined journey….
We all have an ‘external’ bio that gets pasted all over our world… what we do, how we got our education, what degrees we hold…. On and on. And yet, what’s our bio that has created who we ARE in this world? And what might hold us back from being truly transparent in sharing this? I like to refer to this as our ‘inner’ bio.
If you were to Google my name this is what you might find;
“Colleen holds an Advanced Level STOTT Pilates certification and completed the Instructor Trainer course in Cadillac, Chair and Barrel with Balanced Body Pilates University. She is an NASM Certified Personal Trainer and Corrective Exercise Specialist (CES)… blah blah blah
Yes, this is part of me and what I’ve created and what I love to do. However, in all my transparency, let me offer the inner me that has truly led me to my NOW.
The reality is I grew up in a family environment that was challenging, and as every family can be perceived; perfectly imperfect.
I’ve experienced and/or been witness to alcoholism, addiction, verbal, emotional, and domestic abuse, teenage pregnancy, adoption, adultery, family fights, suicide, homicide, betrayal, a questionable birth, and a mysterious disappearance. My life, from an early age, was filled with days, months, and years of therapy and self-help. It carved a path of continued self-referral and expansion. This amazing design led me to the being I am today; driven, passionate, honest, loyal, and unwilling to settle…. Or better said, expecting the best! And so it was…
A long time ago I gave up hope for a better past. It became clear that I held the power to create change in my life and let my NOW be most important. Beginning in my teenage years I felt an angst to seek out something, something real within ME. In reflection of my life to date, the trust I possessed within me to follow the passions in my heart guided me through my experiences, often without fear or thought of the outcome. This unwavering passion is still my best guide. I learned at an early age the importance of ‘living’ this life. It would be denial of myself to do anything different. So with this awareness arose the deep appreciation I hold for my bumpy and painful past. I have accepted, and welcome in, the part of being human and having this physical experience called life; it will always deliver and be sprinkled with surprises, aches, overwhelment, excitement, challenges, adventures, and pain. Learning to let go and practice skillful behavior in handling these bumps has been my gain. And still, at times, my failure.
Being present and here NOW is what is important. I still toggle between discernment and gullibility, compassion and indifference, right action and feeling stuck, acceptance and resistance, love and fear. However, finding the resting place in the middle ground ~ the joyful spirit within the toughness, the stillness within the chaos, the openness within the pain, and the calm within the uncertainty, is my forever aim.
And so it is…
It would feel nice to walk this journey together with you. Can we be vulnerable without judgement?….
You just like me, me just like you, we are all kindred spirits. I am opening myself to you in expressing my automatic writing with the desire to connect with YOU!
I have much love and appreciation for your contribution on any level.
We are never alone,
Big love. ♥