You Are The One

I have been writing and speaking about relational energies for so long now. And yet it is still prevalent. Especially now. We are experiencing energies that are pushing against and making waves in our relationships.

The question we can all ask is, “Will you disempower yourself for another?”

See, our truth never needs to be defended. Take a moment and think about a time when you were misunderstood and fell into over-explaining… justification of yourself. I’ve been there sooo many times!

Even in all the displaced self-doubt and questioning of mySELF, I deeply knew something was not in alignment. I had been pulled away from my truth, my value, and my self-worth. When we are in a position where we feel pressed in a corner to explain or defend ourselves, we move away from our power. It’s an overstepping of our disempowerment. So I ask…


Will we allow the ego (dark energies) of others to bring us down?

We are never serving when we lower our vibration to meet another.

I mean imagine you are floating along in a fine boat, solid and steady. You come alongside another boat that is half sinking and the person is sloshing water out as best they can. Do you get in their boat to help them? Heck no! It’s a helpless cause, you could both go down. You encourage them, offer suggestions, and open your boat to them. It is up to them to realize they could let go of ‘all that is no longer serving them’ and hop on over. Although this would require them to be willing to leave their ‘old’ craft behind. Get my drift?

And I FULLY admit I have jumped in one too many boats with holes all over, doing my best to help them slosh out water. Only to realize, once again, we can never bail someone out of an old craft. It took a lot of losing myself in the action… losing sight of my self-worth, my value, my inner light and all that I AM. The bottom line is, we are usually tumbling in their waves of (dark energy) ego. Or maybe more like a tsunami!

As much as people behave like they want out of the sinking boat, it can be a tough one. It is usually serving them in some way. And the ego (dark energy) likes to have its way. The ego is always trying to protect us from something. It likes to play victimhood. This is an illusion. It’s the age old illusions of all the pains from childhood, the ones we believe we have processed but they keep poking holes in our life boat. It takes an aware and continual effort of self-reflection to heal these parts of ourselves. Paired with a big dose of willingness and courage.

About 16 years ago I was originally introduced to all the small nooks and crannies where the ego likes to hide. Yep, it has taken me a long time to truly understand that my ego was Edging God Out. For me it is always a BEing and BEcoming energy, simultaneously, to keep my ego in its healthy seat. It is the paradox of life. BUT… I am very clear now when I am connecting with another who does not understand their energy is being maneuvered by their ego. No judgment, it’s merely a clear signal for me to stay out of their boat. So now if I get too deep into ‘thinking’ I can assist, the water rising around my ankles is usually my biggest hint to bail ship.

This action has actually felt like a betrayal… like I was betraying them. It has seemed like I left them behind. I’m sure I was not always liked by the action of staying in my light. But so many of us are designed and are here to carve a path for others. The universe is here to see us all as sovereign individuals. We are the trailblazers to be an example of what this looks like. This means when we get so far ahead on this trail it can feel as if we’ve abandoned them, but this is also an illusion. We are not of service by being loyal to their egos. This would be a negative agreement to stay ‘stuck’. We only serve others who are stuck by us being unstuck… through self-growth and expansion.

Sometimes people can’t even see around themselves. Their ego entity has overrun them. It is hard to even fathom it’s the same person, especially when it is someone we’ve known for a long time. They say things and behave in ways that don’t even make sense. Then they blame us and make it our fault.

Hmmm… it can get messy. We get tripped up and let our self-doubt creep in but it’s actually our opportunity to capture the courage that brings us back to our truth.

They will accuse us of everything they are guilty of. And mind you, they are very convincing!

The ego always believes itself. It does not like to be responsible for itself. It can’t even see itself. When someone is being run by their ego they will always see ‘another’ in light of wrongdoing, bad behavior, and they are masters at projection. Here the ego remains in indemnification. No personal responsibility required.

It may sound like; “You’re too this. You’re too that. You’ve changed. You haven’t changed. Your ego is getting in the way. You are the one doing bad things.” For everything they are guilty of they will say it is YOU. And the crazy part is, they truly believe themselves. They are in denial. And this usually indicates they are in denial that they are in denial. What they are expressing is ‘disapproval’ for some part of themselves.

And there you are…

Will you validate ‘you’?

My answer? Nope.

I say this with conviction. I’ve had a lot of practice in relationships where I dimmed my light and disempowered mySELF for the dark energy of another’s ego. I repeatedly found myself falling into the illusionary need to justify myself, or better yet, rationalize their mental myopia. One experience shines the most though. I was gifted with a beautiful opportunity to practice staying in my light, to rise to all that I AM…

I had been sharing time and interacting with a person I’ve known for a long time. I dived deep into forgiveness and healed past pains from this relationship. It is always ours to do, yes?

Open communication, honesty, and always offering the benefit of the doubt to the other is my motto. This time was no different. In our last conversation it became clear that we were not vibrating from the same place of growth. Out of this person’s mouth I heard, “I don’t even know if you are the one.”

Hmmmm… I almost had to laugh.

“I AM the one”, I responded. I have always been the one. No one outside of me gets to decide if I AM the one. I AM. Can I tell you how phenomenal it felt to not have that statement rock me?! Not a bit! Every ounce of me understood I was being invited to dance with this person’s ego and I said ‘Nope’. And the best part is, I never left my heart space in the process. I held hands with my worthiness and value while remaining absent judgment and retaliation. I truly had compassion. I could see this person was not appreciative of my growth and I became their mirror. All that was being said to me were accusations of their guilt. This time I held no self-doubt. It was so clear to me, this was not about me, it was not my energy. And I walked away feeling the same love for this person I had prior to the conversation.

I AM a light and I will not disempower this for anyone.

There’s a primitive wiring in ourselves that fears If I lose favor of another, if they don’t like me, then I’m going ‘to die’. Or better said, my EGO might die. This is very deep unconscious programming. Then we find ourselves questioning, Why does this hurt so much? Why do I want their approval?

Backtrack… run your finger through your old rolodex of patterns. Where did you over-explain and defend yourself to their manipulations? This is just conditioned patterning that pulls you into their leverage of ‘approval’, it’s their bargaining chip. If our wounding is still intact and fear is an underlying stream within us we will be driven to amend our behavior to suit their ego demands.

There is a course correction though. The course correction is going to your SELF to get your power back, not to the other. It’s making sure you understand yourself and reclaim yourself from the moment you got in that boat. This brings us back into self alignment, our higher self, our divinity. We are ever only responsible for our inner light, the divine flow of energy. It’s time to step into our higher levels of responsibility, SELF responsibility.

It is our place to transcend and it’s time to ascend. We must connect to our inner light that flows from high source through our body and anchors us into the deep earth of divinity. This is our only responsibility. As we shift, ascend, and grow not everyone will be happy for us. Some will, but many may be offended. It will challenge them in ways they may not be prepared for. They may be uncomfortable with this growth. Because let’s admit it, we hopped into their water-logged boat at some point and allowed ourselves to get pulled into the undercurrent of their ego. So this expansion of ourSELF will be uncomfortable for them.

When we heal ourselves and temper our egos it gives them an opportunity to face their ego at a level they just might not be ready for. So this is where we experience the shame, the blame, the projection of their own unconsciousness upon us. And again the question…

Will you answer to their ego?

Remember, our truth never needs defending. It’s understandable we have been buried under layers of shame and blame but it’s time to lift ourselves from the disheveled depths of these un-serving beliefs. This elevates us into our power and innocence. Our healing moves us back into our innate innocence of pure love. The light and space within that never requires explaining, defending, or validating.

When another wants a meeker, milder version of us, offer compassion in exchange. Understand where they are at but do not dance with the ego. You can never feed the hungry ghost.

On the flipside, you could conclude that you were the one dancing with your ego to get another to hop into your rickety boat. To want them to lower their vibration, diminish their light, and ask them to play small. Hey no shame here either. This awareness is a gift. It was an imbalance that is now recognized and can be recalibrated. It’s a topic I’ve been exploring, unearthing, contemplating, and writing about for some time now. We all arrive when we arrive. Divine timing has a place for us… So I ask you…

Will you choose to temper your ego? Will you sit with another and require nothing more than who they BE?

This is the place of innocence and self responsibility.

When we can be in space together and embrace we are all lighthouse keepers it is then we will ask nothing of the other. No-thing will be required. It will just BE.

And it will be enough…
No question.
You Are The One.

Big Love ♥️

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